因为怕吗？

因为怕，
所以，
我把自己的心收藏起来。

怕她生气，
所以，
渐渐地和她保持距离。

怕她会不理我，
因为，
我做错了事。

想让她知道，
我爱她，
恐怕，
没机会了。

这一切。。都只因为。。我爱她。

我爱你，可是你喜欢的不是我。

如果我在争取你，
我便是个坏人。
破坏别人幸福的坏人。

因为我爱你，
所以不想阻碍你和别个~在一起的权利
。
因为我爱你，
所以就算多么难受，
也要强逼自己接受。

因为，我爱你，
所以就算多么心痛，
也要在你面前装没事。

因为我爱你，
所以选择放弃你。
我强忍着泪水，
但泪水偏偏要流下来...

我吃醋了。。

我忍不住了。。我觉得。。常常都有人想打断。。我和F的感情。。
那个J。。也是很过分。。我不想说她也不能嫌她。。只是。。我觉得。。她想放弃就放弃。。不要阻挡我和她发展。。总觉得。。J想和她有进展。。可是。。就是因为她我不敢。。我觉得很对不起J。

我真的真得很想知道。。

我觉得我自己很白痴。。等着一些永远得不到的东西。。
我很伤心。。她。。一天比一天的冷。。我就一天比一天的怕。。
朋友。。也一天一天的在安慰我。。
我现在只需要。。 LF的安慰。。

Restless life. Blank. Zero. Nothing.

It's enough.. I really hate being so dramatic with my friends.
Why do I need to care for them while they don't even think that I exist?
I was born to be wild. I had my own freedom. Just that I'm going to use it wisely.

I've just quarrel with my friend. Don't quite know what's happening, but it's something really stupid. She don't even think over what reason I gave. She just keep blabbering about she getting hitted by her mom. Hello?! Human here. It's not the first time she's been so sensitive bout this. I really don't get it. I said, I was very worried bout going to school tmr. Really. If she couldn't go with me I've could have ask other people. But, it turn out to be worst. What to do bout it. Since she wants it that way, Let it be then. Unless she let me explain.

I've been really dramatic and annoying these few months. Maybe it's because I loved a girl? ARGH!! Why life had to be so restless? so stupid? so meaningless? so odd?
Who can tell me? My life was just.......................-----------------> blank.

Life is going to be out of light soon..

Haiz.. Life is really getting very naughty these few days.
Dad's keep scolding me.. Sis also.. Dunno what's happening though..
Felt they are doing some pointless things.. Well to me larh.. To them is like giving out some life realities..

Bout lurve? Better don't say..
I really really really like her.. But WC 偏偏要出想在我生活里。。 I dunno if I like her.. But a lot of ppl say it's obvious.. I dunno wat I was obvious bout.. Maybe it's real.. Maybe I really like her.. Just that I haven't know it..

Come on peoples.. Help me out.. I really need help now.. But unfortunately, even my best friend is leaving me alone. Whose going to help me?! Eh?

Urgh.. Last question though.. What is my life actually looks like?